Schedule update

A mom asked me today how my sleep schedule was going and I realize I haven't posted an update. While every day is a new day, for the most part the babe is on schedule and happier for it. We try to work on a 3 hour rotation - wake up, eat, play for an hour to an hour and a half and then nap. She tends to go down for a nap quite well, as long as I'm paying attention to her cues (ear pulling, eye rubbing, long blinks or an overall fussiness). She has a pacifier, which I also use to put her down. We know this means we'll have to wean her off of it, but she needs it so we're fine with it.

I started this post at 5:30pm this evening, and at that point the babe was staying true to my word. Fast forward two hours and she was in the middle of a major breakdown. Screaming to the point of losing her voice, gassy, angry and so upset that we forgo the bath because we thought it would upset her too much. After an hour of pacing and patting, followed by rocking and an attempt at co-sleeping, she finally petered out next to me in our bed and I eventually transferred her to her bassinet when she was good and asleep.

Today is an off day. I knew that by noon based on her demeanor, so I was prepared to throw the bedtime routine out the window if necessary. The biggest part of this scheduling, for us, is knowing how to be flexible for her. I am constantly reminded that my A-type personality and desire for conformity has no place in her life. I have to roll with it, whatever it is, and just know that one bad day doesn't mean we've failed; it's just one bad day.

Oh, and she's also just discovered her thumb. Awesome.

~ H

Old life versus new life

1. OL - Sleep late on the weekends
   NL - Up at 7:15ish with the baby, brewing a coffee with eyes half open, not still asleep yet not quite awake
   
   
2. OL - There was a difference between weekdays and weekends
   NL - The only difference between weekdays and weekends is that I can't figure out why the grocery store is so much busier, until I realize it's Sunday
   
   
3. OL - I used to say to my friends with kids, "Can't you just get a babysitter?"
   NL - I can't fathom the thought of paying a babysitter for any other reason than... nope, can't fathom it at all.
   
   
4. OL - 6 shopping stops in 2 hours? No problem
   NL - 2 shopping stops in 2 hours? Can't I just go to Walmart or Superstore and get it all done at once?
   
   
5. OL - Dancing in 5 inch heels
   NL - Dancing around my kitchen in slippers and a bathrobe

Ahh how my life has changed. But it's different in a good way, because I feel *cheesy moment coming up be warned* like I actually have a purpose now, that there is this young mind who needs help learning how to fall asleep on its own, and where the lights in the room are, and the furry thing who breathes heavily is not a predator, rather a friend.

Day 3 of sleep training is progressing and I hazard to say it's progressing well. The babe is down for her second nap of the day, and I feel happy. That seems like a simple, perhaps unexciting choice of a word, but it is the best descriptor I can think of. I'm happy we're doing this sleep training, I'm happy that the babe seems to be taking to it, and I'm happy because she's happy - it clearly shows when she is awake that she is engaged and playful and in a positive mood. I'm relieved that I am better able to identify her cues and respond quicker and correctly. I feel hope, and a bit more positive that I can do this.

~ H

To a schedule we go!

Last night was the first night of an attempted schedule. I read my book of choice The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman. I like that she lists different options for putting your child to bed, knowing that leaving the room and letting them cry it out just isn't an option for some (me, I meant me). I also like the sample schedules because I am an A type personality who needs lists and labels and follows recipes and reads instructions. I have trouble solely trusting my gut and would prefer to at least have a guideline to work with.

The night started loud, with a crying jag and tossing/turning that lasted for the longest 30 minutes of our lives. My poor husband attempted to stay in the room, but when the screaming began to rival a coyote's howls, he bid his retreat to the guest room with my blessing. The night got better, quieter and progressed into a good day.

I chose to stay home and skip my fitness class to try to get a handle on naps. The babe has issues with her bassinet - who doesn't have issues with their bassinet - and today's goal was simply for her to fall asleep in the bassinet as opposed to her carseat, my arms, her swing, her rocker, you get the point. Well, 4 naps were had, all in the bassinet and one was over an hour! Sweet relief.

Bedtime was the same routine as last night, and man, that kid catches on quick! Before I could zip up her sleep sack she was crying because she knew what was coming. I could not believe it. But it was less painful tonight, for the both of us I think.

I'm beginning to realize that while I thought it was great how much I was getting out of the house before, I think it best to spend a little more time at home working on the basics. Yes, my independence is important to me, but not as important as sleep, both for me and her.

We're about to hit the 3 hour mark since I last put her down. Fingers crossed for a good night...

A case of the screams

On Facebook I have nicknamed our child Screamy. This is not without reason. After the sun sets, usually within an hour, the screams begin. I begin the pacifying dance which usually starts with, "you're okay baby, you're okay" which turns inevitably into a dance/bob around the living room and that fails I wind up with the final offering of milk, and if that fails, then I'm screwed.

Tonight, I think I'm screwed. We've been back and forth all night - passing the babe from one to the other, rocking, feeding, a bath, a story, possibly asleep for the night... but wait, no, just a 30 minute nap it seems, more feeding, the screams again and it's back to the passing. My husband reads aloud to me that overtired babies often cry more at night and have a harder time sleeping through the night. I cannot get over the Catch-22'ness of that situation. I immediately begin again questioning myself as a mother, wondering why I can't seem to get this cycle to work for us. I shoulder the responsibility because I am the source of food. Is she eating enough? How do I know? She's gaining weight, but she's hell in a swaddle come 9pm. Should I try feeding her more? Check my last post.

So the question becomes: how the frick do I get my overtired baby to fall asleep for more than 30 minutes? I will report back on what I hope becomes progress, but may just end being more nights of the husband bunking in the spare rooms to save his ears and sanity and strength for his hands on job.

Everyone has an opinion

Current question of day: sleep training - is your baby sleep trained? I'm not asking the question. I'm being asked the question. Constantly. But not directly, no, more in a roundabout, subtle, sometimes judgy sort of way. Other mothers start by asking "how are you sleeping?" When I answer honestly "Not great, some nights are better than others." I always get one of two responses - one: a long spiel about how you can start sleep-training from birth (which maybe you can) and an explanation on how they did it and how it's so great now; two: a knowing look and the long spiel about how only you know your child and you can't sleep train until 4 months or XX lbs (clearly I don't know what that weight is) and the comment that only you know your child and you will know when to start sleep training.

Yes, only I know my child but I have never had a child before therefore I know when my child is upset but I'm never really sure why. It could be because she's tired. Heck, I'm tired! But come 10pm she definitely is not tired and she sure as hell would rather scream then be rocked on her side while swaddled with me whooshing in her ear.

No we haven't started sleep training because I couldn't decide which camp was right but now I'm forced into the latter because she's 2 months old now and not sleeping through the night. Judge away...