Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Something has to give

Two posts in two weeks, what?!?! Don't come to expect this ;)

I love being a mom. I now know what's it's like to have a little person wrap herself around me because she finds comfort in my hugs. I also now know not to use baking soda to take crayon off my walls, because it will take the paint off too (eff you Pinterest, you liar you). I have learned the art of distraction, and that if you sing "You Are My Sunshine" 30 times in a row, you will lose your voice. For me there is no nicer sound than the one of The Babe laughing. Plus she gives great kisses.

But here's one thing I don't love - the lack of time and subsequently, the loss of hobbies. I do not have enough time to exercise. I am not making excuses. I am looking at my list of grocery shopping, spending time with my child, dishes, lunch making, dinner cooking, replacing faded work pants, unpacking a storage locker, seeing a friend (rarely), cuddling my husband, weeding my new garden, cleaning (occasionally) and there is not enough time. Something has to give. And it seems to be exercise. How did I come to that conclusion? Well, we need to eat. We need to have clean clothes to wear to work and daycare. We need to love each other, and that takes effort. Having a garden reduces my grocery bills, and we need money to pay for things. Like clothes and daycare. I need social interaction, so occasionally seeing a friend is a must. Oh, and I have to sleep. A sleepless me = a fricking nightmare. And my husband helps and is supportive, so it's not a question of him picking up the slack. I haven't even mentioned his list here.

Now everyone's situation is different, and my loss of exercise rests on the fact that The Babe hates her stroller, despises the carrier, tolerates the bike trailer, but prefers to walk (slooooowly) everywhere. This limits the exercise I can which involves her such as running or hiking with her with any semblance of calorie burning. I can cycle with her, which I will try to do more often. And I did commit to an obstacle race in September with work that I am super pumped about. But I refuse to go to the gym and put her in childminding when I work full-time. That's not something I will do.

People don't talk about the things they give up when they become parents. It's not sexy to talk about how you gave up friends, or reading or vacations. But it happens and it's hard and sometimes it frustrates me. Why isn't there more time? You know those parents who say, "oh our lives didn't change too much, we take our little one to all the same places we went before,". No? Never heard that either, huh? Weird. I wish people talked about it more. Talked about what's hard, so that I would know I'm not crazy, selfish, failing, alone. Don't worry, I know I'm not! But I think there needs to be more transparency here people.

I'm dealing with it, knowing that there will be a time when my life may be more conducive to stand-up paddling sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or a morning yoga class. But right now, it's the something that has to give.

~ H

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Celebrate Moms

I want to take a minute today to celebrate moms. The reason behind this? Last night I finally watched the entire SoulPancake video of Zac Sobleski's Last Days. It took me four attempts to watch it, because it hits fairly close to home for me and most days it's too overwhelming for me to watch. But last night I was in the right headspace and I finished it. Wow. That video will change the way you look at things, as least for a little while. One thing that struck me was at the end, Zac's mom says how lucky she was to be Zac's mom. It made me think of my friends and family members who are moms and how they may not realize how lucky their children are to have them as mom's. So here goes:

  • To my sister - you go above and beyond in every aspect of being of a mom, from uber-creative birthdays to hours spent working on language, both verbal and signing. 
  • To my sister-in-law who recently moved to a new community - you are doing an amazing job of trying to find resources for your son in your community and making the most of the natural surroundings you have access to. You have made a huge change and are doing a great job at keeping your son in touch with his surroundings and having lots of play.
  • To my other sister-in-law who is raising twin boys. Those boys are lovely, full of smiles and jokes. You found a way to make full-time school and mothering work and are setting a fantastic example for your sons.
  • To my lovely cousin whose son is the sweetest the baby I have ever met (for real), your love and kindness is so great that your son cannot help but brighten up any room he is in. Your warmth is something I miss, and something your son will always have to come home to.
  • To K who is raising a daughter and building a business at the same time. You are an inspiration for those around you who want to make a change but are unsure how to do it. You did it and are doing it well, something your daughter will recognize as she grows up.
  • To B, a new mom with a 2-month-old and an injured husband, you're doing great. You have a natural instinct to mother and it's evident to everyone you encounter. The rest is just background noise, because your love will get you through anything.
  • To T who is raising a son and doing a killer commute full time to kick ass in the corporate world. Your determination and work ethic at work and at home is admirable and your son is a reflection of your easygoing nature, which we all love.
  • To B who's ginger-haired babe is a hit everywhere she goes. You're focused on keeping your family healthy and balanced while balancing work. It's clear from your daughter's joyous nature that you're succeeding and building her up with love and determination.
  • To C who's about to have two under 2, your positive energy is infectious and your daughter is a testament to that. Your patience is something I strive to emulate in my own behaviour.
  • To T who works a different schedule from her husband and is parenting solo frequently, you are getting it done and still finding time to explore our city and create lasting memories with your daughter. Your drive is nothing less than amazing.
  • To J, an old friend whose daughter is the light of my daughter's life, you were amazing in a crisis and the rock we all lean on. Your daughter will be stronger because you are her mother.
  • To C who is raising a daughter, two dogs and studying for a new career, your commitment to a healthy lifestyle and balance is something your daughter will only benefit from, both in the short term and long run. Keep with girl!

And finally, to my soon-to-be moms, I know you have what it takes to be mothers and anytime you are scared or question what the future holds, just know that you are strong, kind women to begin with and you will only become stronger and kinder in motherhood.

Love to you all.

~ H