Friday, August 4, 2017

Childfree Costco

Most of you know my contempt for shopping with kids at Costco. The anxiety that comes with finding a parking spot, to the constant "no we are not buying this/that/those" to finally unpacking the cart while the children hoot and holler from their car seats. 

But can we talk about those far and few between childfree Costco trips that feel like a little slice of paradise? Can we talk about how it feels to not give a shit about where you park, because parking further away means the solo trip will take a bit longer and be a few more steps in your step count for the day? 

Let's talk about how it feels to put your PURSE in the bench seat. My purse doesn't demand to sit on one side, and then promptly change its mind to sit on the other. My purse doesn't insist on strapping itself in, only to fumble with the clip for 5 minutes while screaming "I DO IT MYSELF MOM!"

Let's talk about spending five quiet minutes trying to determine, "what kind of salad bowl person am I?". Am I a multicoloured plastic "Mexican fiesta-style fun loving" salad bowl person? Or am I more of a rectangle cherry blossom painted "Orient Express smoky cool" salad bowl person? Who knows and who cares, but I am certainly going to spend some childfree time pondering it. 

Let's talk about picking bread - seeds or no. With children in tow, I am tossing the McGavins 3-pack whole wheat in the cart at a frenetic pace with little regard for nutritional value or pairing options. Childless and carefree, I am reading the labels and thinking about whether I want flax seeds with my natural peanut butter or 12 grains with my nitrate-free ham. My bourgeois tendencies mimic the fire rating for today - EXTREME. 

Let's talk about the samples. All the samples. Why yes, I will sample the chocolate bark thank you very much. Guacamole made from organic avocados? Of course it is a party favourite! I must try it! What do you mean it will be another 10 minutes for the chicken sausage?!? Don't you realize I just sampled cheese and need to compliment it with meat. C'mon people!

And finally, let's talk about breezing out of the doors. Groceries paid for. No smiley face on the receipt for me today, thank you very much. The slow deliberate walk to the car. The quiet unpacking of the cart and the lazy return of the cart. The car seats filled, not with children, but with quiet toilet paper and placid diapers. 

Let's take a moment and savour the childfree trips to Costco. Savour and smile. 

~ H

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