Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Something has to give

Two posts in two weeks, what?!?! Don't come to expect this ;)

I love being a mom. I now know what's it's like to have a little person wrap herself around me because she finds comfort in my hugs. I also now know not to use baking soda to take crayon off my walls, because it will take the paint off too (eff you Pinterest, you liar you). I have learned the art of distraction, and that if you sing "You Are My Sunshine" 30 times in a row, you will lose your voice. For me there is no nicer sound than the one of The Babe laughing. Plus she gives great kisses.

But here's one thing I don't love - the lack of time and subsequently, the loss of hobbies. I do not have enough time to exercise. I am not making excuses. I am looking at my list of grocery shopping, spending time with my child, dishes, lunch making, dinner cooking, replacing faded work pants, unpacking a storage locker, seeing a friend (rarely), cuddling my husband, weeding my new garden, cleaning (occasionally) and there is not enough time. Something has to give. And it seems to be exercise. How did I come to that conclusion? Well, we need to eat. We need to have clean clothes to wear to work and daycare. We need to love each other, and that takes effort. Having a garden reduces my grocery bills, and we need money to pay for things. Like clothes and daycare. I need social interaction, so occasionally seeing a friend is a must. Oh, and I have to sleep. A sleepless me = a fricking nightmare. And my husband helps and is supportive, so it's not a question of him picking up the slack. I haven't even mentioned his list here.

Now everyone's situation is different, and my loss of exercise rests on the fact that The Babe hates her stroller, despises the carrier, tolerates the bike trailer, but prefers to walk (slooooowly) everywhere. This limits the exercise I can which involves her such as running or hiking with her with any semblance of calorie burning. I can cycle with her, which I will try to do more often. And I did commit to an obstacle race in September with work that I am super pumped about. But I refuse to go to the gym and put her in childminding when I work full-time. That's not something I will do.

People don't talk about the things they give up when they become parents. It's not sexy to talk about how you gave up friends, or reading or vacations. But it happens and it's hard and sometimes it frustrates me. Why isn't there more time? You know those parents who say, "oh our lives didn't change too much, we take our little one to all the same places we went before,". No? Never heard that either, huh? Weird. I wish people talked about it more. Talked about what's hard, so that I would know I'm not crazy, selfish, failing, alone. Don't worry, I know I'm not! But I think there needs to be more transparency here people.

I'm dealing with it, knowing that there will be a time when my life may be more conducive to stand-up paddling sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or a morning yoga class. But right now, it's the something that has to give.

~ H

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