Monday, June 17, 2013


So we have reached (and now passed) the amazing 18-month mark when The Babe can walk, speak an amazing vocabulary, put on her own shoes, and more frequently than ever... act like an asshole.

I write this and realize that it is strong language, but it's true, and there is no other word which accurately describes the one-toddler show she seems to be putting on at home and in public places such as the local swimming pool, grocery store, ferry, etc. We've departed crying town and this behaviour train is now pulling into temper tantrum city where the scenery consists of full-body spasms, biting, and planking. The most fun is when she planks while I am attempting to buckle her into her car seat. I am careful as to how I handle the situation, because it never looks good to passerby when you are having to force your child into her carseat. Even if it will save her life. Even if you do have a book for her to read, a snack trapper of puffs, a sippy cup, a sock monkey toy, a kiss, a frickin' pony if that's what it takes. She nearly drowned herself at her last swimming lesson trying to break free of my hold in the pool. The instructor looked on with mild amusement and asked if she was "excited". Not the word I would have chosen.

It's a trying time in our house, as we would prefer she eat dinner, drink from her own cup, not wear her shoes on the couch and she does not agree. She also doesn't understand why she cannot ride on our backs around the top floor of our house for more than 5 minutes. Explaining pain and lack of flexibility of a 30+ body is lost on her young mind. And frankly, she could care less.

She is a crazy person with wild hair and a general disregard for danger. She jumps on chairs and eats books and screams with a shrill which could shatter glass. But in the blink of an eye, she is kind and loving and rubbing my back when I pick her up out of her crib. For a moment I forget, and we sit peacefully on her bean bag chair reading a book and laughing. She also is quite funny, and can dance to Macklemore like no one else. She blows kisses before smearing snot on the couch and running away, laughing as she goes.

Never have we faced such highs and lows, and I can't imagine it's going to change anytime soon. I have found a few tricks - giving her an apple to eat from the produce department the moment we enter the grocery store - and a few times I just say "she's crazy" to explain her behaviour. Because she IS crazy, but crazy is okay at our house because her mom is a little crazy too ;)

~ H

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