Friday, April 26, 2013

I need to tell you

Inspired by a Pinterest post, I wanted to share the things I want to tell my daughter before she becomes the wildabeast I was once at 14. There are the 7 things I want her to know:

1) You are valued.
You are valued by the people around you. By your father, your family, your friends and by me. Being valued can be more meaningful than being important.

2) You don't need to pretend you like things if you don't.
And vice versa. If you like climbing trees, climb them and don't let anyone tell you it's dumb to climb trees. If you don't like make up, you don't have to wear it. If you like listening to classical music, I will take you to concerts or drop you off with a friend who shares your interest. There are a lot of ways you can continue doing the things you like, even if some of your friends don't like all the same things.

3) You will always have immunity.
If you are in trouble, in an unsafe place, cannot drive or don't want to be in a car with someone, or need help, you can call your dad, myself, or one of the adults in our world who you feel close to and you will not be in trouble. We may have a conversation about the choices you made leading up to that call. But you will never be yelled at or made to feel ashamed for calling for help.

4) We will always protect you.
If it means changing our phone number, driving you to a friend's house to sort out a problem or talking to an adult about a situation, we will always protect you and keep you safe. If you have gotten yourself into a situation, we will work together to find a resolution.

5) If you want me to know, you have to tell me.
If you want me to know what music you like, tell me. I'll listen. If you want me to know how you're feeling, tell me. I'll put on some tea and we'll have a conversation. If you want to join a different team, tell me. We can have a family meeting and sort out which team is the best fit for you and your skills.

6) Try hard always.
To say do your best is a lot to ask, though I hope you would, but you can always try hard. Try hard to be a good friend. Try hard to understand what the teacher is saying. Try hard to talk to people at school that you wouldn't normally talk to. Try hard to be a good teammate.

7) Respect your father and I.
We will always treat you with respect and we expect the same. Talk to us in a respectful manner. If you are unsure what that means, just ask. Respect our decisions and our opinions, because we have experienced the things you are just experiencing and we remember the outcome of our experiences. Treat the people in our house with respect because they are guests, invited by us. We will always treat your friends with respect an so we expect the same courtesy.

I love you and I know that you will be happy and successful. I enjoy the time we get to spend with you :)

~ H

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